"For our struggle is not against flesh and blood."

Ephesians 6:12

Our imperfections are messy, intimidating, and sometimes you might be letting them defeat you, maybe even disqualify you. I am guilty of it. I have to catch myself as I go about my day and dismiss the lie that I am not doing it well, that I am not doing enough. Perhaps they can feel like pressure - pressure to be the perfect mom, the perfect wife, the perfect business owner, the perfect friend. And when we fail, it hits us hard. This is a natural emotional feeling, and I think it is important to process it, but we need to stand firm in truth that is behind it. His truth, and really our identities are only rooted in Him alone. These imperfections that we are created within Christ might be a description of the season we are in, or what we are processing, but never are we defined by them.

In the genealogy of Christ, we see many people, women, who were completely imperfect-- yet they are included in this list--

The Genealogy of Jesus Christ

1 The book of the genealogy of Jesus Christ, the son of David, the son of Abraham.

2 Abraham was the father of Isaac, and Isaac the father of Jacob, and Jacob the father of Judah and his brothers, 3 and Judah the father of Perez and Zerah by Tamar, and Perez the father of Hezron, and Hezron the father of Ram,[a] 4 and Ram the father of Amminadab, and Amminadab the father of Nahshon, and Nahshon the father of Salmon, 5 and Salmon the father of Boaz by Rahab, and Boaz the father of Obed by Ruth, and Obed the father of Jesse, 6 and Jesse the father of David the king.

And David was the father of Solomon by the wife of Uriah, 7 and Solomon the father of Rehoboam, and Rehoboam the father of Abijah, and Abijah the father of Asaph,[b] 8 and Asaph the father of Jehoshaphat, and Jehoshaphat the father of Joram, and Joram the father of Uzziah, 9 and Uzziah the father of Jotham, and Jotham the father of Ahaz, and Ahaz the father of Hezekiah, 10 and Hezekiah the father of Manasseh, and Manasseh the father of Amos,[c] and Amos the father of Josiah, 11 and Josiah the father of Jechoniah and his brothers, at the time of the deportation to Babylon.

12 And after the deportation to Babylon: Jechoniah was the father of Shealtiel,[d]and Shealtiel the father of Zerubbabel, 13 and Zerubbabel the father of Abiud, and Abiud the father of Eliakim, and Eliakim the father of Azor, 14 and Azor the father of Zadok, and Zadok the father of Achim, and Achim the father of Eliud, 15 and Eliud the father of Eleazar, and Eleazar the father of Matthan, and Matthan the father of Jacob, 16 and Jacob the father of Joseph the husband of Mary, of whom Jesus was born, who is called Christ.

17 So all the generations from Abraham to David were fourteen generations, and from David to the deportation to Babylon fourteen generations, and from the deportation to Babylon to the Christ fourteen generations.

Matthew 1:1-17 (ESV)

It is important to note that God carefully places  this genealogy to show us that we all come from somewhere, that we have broken parts, that we are imperfect, but the greatest truth in this to hold on to is that Christ redeems us. We are a part of His story of grace. I am here to tell you that we get to BREAK free from our imperfections defining us because we get to embrace them-- when we embrace them, we are essentially embracing Him, trusting that God is in control of our lives.

There have been many times in the last 6 years or so that I have let my imperfections define who I was, to fall into a trap of thinking that I am less than-- when I decided that I no longer wanted to pursue becoming a doctor, and instead I chose real estate for a while. So much of that transition left me feeling lost and seeking His purpose in my life. As I went thru infertility there where many days where I believed lies that it was my fault, that I had caused these issues with my body. Then there were, even more, times when I blamed myself for delivering my son early--- all thoughts and emotions that I had to break free from because that was not God's plan and purpose for me or for infertility and the premature birth. Honestly, friends, the struggles are still there as I break free from these imperfections defining me on a daily basis. There are moments when I am at doctors visits and therapy appointments with Mason and I will slip back into turning the imperfections to blame and down a spiral that is not at all what He wants for my life. I am here to tell you that no matter the imperfection, we can BREAK FREE because He is in our future-- He is going to use all of it the way He desires, and that might not be an easy thing to swallow. It might not be what you want or what I want, but when we can surrender it all to Him and allow Him to make a beautiful thing out of it-- that is when we can be free from the imperfections making us believe we can exist and be on our own.

We have to begin to trace the source of our internal thoughts and ideas that we have. If we are truly metabolizing His words to fuel our minds, then we can fully thrive in the living truth. We become grounded in Christ which is an essential part of breaking free from the imperfections defining us, and instead, we begin to thirst for more of Him. To have such a deep love for the Lord that you feel as if He is standing right there with you. I experienced this many times,  particularly in the NICU, I vividly remember when I literally had to just fall to my knees and just sink to Him. God reminded me that my imperfections are not weaknesses, they are opportunities to cling to Him, seek Him, hear Him. I heard Him over the constant ringing alarms in the hospital day after day for five months, over the chest compressions on my son many times, in the hospice room, and on the walk out of hospice as Mason was moved to a room of life.

I will also share that there will also be times when you can’t quite make out His voice, or see the light, or run to Him-- but know that He is not disqualifying you, He wants you to grow closer, connect with Him even further.You see the closer we are to embracing our imperfections, we are that much closer to understanding how much we need Him. We were made imperfect because He wants us to need Him, to run to Him and lay it all out--- and His grace covers us. He gives that to us unconditionally.

In our lives, these imperfect moments, situations, feelings, thoughts, they are part of His plan, and we have to know that we can’t fast forward thru them. Many times they will last for a season, or years, and sometimes they will remain forever. Yet we get to remain in Him, and that is where we see Him unfold in our lives. Our broken world would have us think that we need to get out of the imperfections-- let me emphasize getting out and breaking free are two very different things. Getting out of the imperfections is not embracing them, it is believing a lie that we don't need Him. Breaking free from them defeating and disqualifying you is a very different idea. It is the premise that when we allow ourselves the space and time in the imperfection we are in fact intensifying the connection with Him-- we begin to see God at work in our lives thru the imperfections and know that we are defined by Christ only, and the imperfections make way for us to stand in His glory.

You can stand through anything when you stand in His abundant grace. Because, friend, it's in our imperfections that Christ makes His perfections shown. He has the power to break us free from the role lies play that can takeover us not embracing the imperfections. He loves us today like He loved us yesterday and like He will love us tomorrow, imperfections and all.